By Bonnie A. Rabinovitch-Mantel, CFLS.
Our beloved San Diego Chargers are just days from beginning a brand new, completely fresh start with the pending kickoff of their new season. They are once again being given the opportunity to be the best they can be, all the while facing blocks, tackles, and otherwise intimidating obstacles. Their objective? To come out on top, with as little collateral damage to themselves or their teammates as possible.
In order to win, the Chargers are going to have to have a strategy for coping with unpredictable setbacks, bumps, and blunders. That is, in order to overcome the challenges that lie ahead, the Chargers are going to have to have a sound game plan in place this season.
For those in San Diego in the thick of a divorce, having a sound game plan in place is also going to be vital if you’re going to begin a new season in which you’ll be learning to co-parent with your ex-spouse. Here are a few strategies to help you, and your children get off to a winning start in this new season of your life:
· Play By The Rules
Successful co-parenting will require that both spouses abide by the terms of the divorce which you’ve either agreed upon, or that the court has rendered. If you refuse to play by these rules, you’re almost certain to struggle unnecessarily with co-parenting. Each party will have specific rules to abide by in terms of custody, holidays, etc., and refusing to follow the rules typically means that no one wins.
· Take Time Outs
Co-parenting children after a divorce can take time to get used to. When you feel exhausted, or like you just can’t win, take a time out. Literally. Step back from the situation, take some deep breaths, rest, and adjust your game plan accordingly. You may find that you and/or your children need professional help as well, in the form of therapy. It’s crucial that you take the best possible care of yourself, and your children during this transitory time in order to be able to stay in the proverbial game, while sustaining the fewest ‘injuries’ along the way.
· Accept That You Probably Can’t Win ‘Em All
Let somethings go. Being happy will always feel better than being ‘right.’ When it comes to petty conflicts, don’t expend too much energy on minor disagreements. Understanding that this new arrangement is going to take some getting used to, and that all players will need to make concessions, in order co-parenting to be as successful as possible
· Keep Your Eye on the Goal
When it comes to successfully co-parenting with your ex after a divorce in San Diego, the single most important thing to remember is that, it is not about you and your feelings about your ex-spouse. It’s about making this new way of parenting as seamless as possible for your children. By putting your children first, and focusing on ensuring that they feel safe, protected, and comfortable during this new season in life, you are certain to win big.
At Primus Family Law Group, we’ll be rooting for you (and for the Chargers) as you kick off a brand new season this September.