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Hi everyone, I’m Dr. Michael Mantell with another segment of Family Law Matters with Bonnie Rabinovitch Mantel, founder and managing partner of Primus Family Law Group. We’re here today to discuss important issues that relate to many families facing divorce and other matrimonial legal issues. Hi, Bonnie.

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Hi, Michael. How are you doing today? Doing great. Warm day in San Diego, isn’t it? A little too warm.

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Yeah. But we’re getting close to school and all that brings with this pandemic. Well, that raises an interesting question.

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For many families who are divorced or going through a divorce, the return to school allows them several options that you speak with families about. Can you discuss some of those options that families have as we face back to school maybe in September? Correct, it’s always maybe, you know, we’re listening to the news on a daily basis. Well, what I’m hearing is now they’re offering three options, either completely online school or completely in school is another option.

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And then there’s a hybrid where there will be some online and some attendance in class. And obviously all of those options bring with it a variety of issues. For example, not everybody has access to the internet or has computers at home, making the online options problematic.

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And then there’s also the problem of sending your child to school during this pandemic when more and more kids are getting sick. You know, for example, I have a teenager, I have a senior in high school and now, you know, the spike in the coronavirus is affecting that age group. So I’m certainly concerned about that.

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How does that play out in terms of negotiations between parents? For example, if the father wants to keep the kids home or send them to school and the mother has a differing opinion and the grandmother over there has another opinion and the aunt has yet another opinion, how does Primus Family Law bring it a very personalized approach to resolve it? Well, you know, most parents share joint legal custody, which means that each parent has an equal right to decide about the children’s health, education and welfare. So when making decisions about school, whether or not to what school to attend or whether or not to do this pandemic option, you have to discuss it with the other parent. It has to be a joint decision.

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And that can lead to some issues. Obviously, parents who are sharing their children, not everybody co-parents very well or is always on the same page. And so they have to find a happy medium.

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And if they can’t, that involves emotion and that requires a judge to make decisions about your children when, you know, for such a matter, you may have 12, 13, 14 minutes to explain it all to a judge, especially during the pandemic. So when parents go to that extreme, they have a sort of a revenge mentality. I’m not giving in.

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Not really a revenge mentality. We call them more high conflict cases. These are parents who really, no matter what, one says black, the other says white.

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That’s just the way they work and how toxic their relationship has become. Thankfully, I would still say the majority of cases are not the high conflict. Sometimes they think they are because they get angry or because they don’t agree, but that’s part and parcel of the system and getting divorced.

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Even happily married people don’t always agree and do argue. It’s high conflict is when you truly up is down, left is right. There’s nothing that you’re going to do.

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And in such situations like this pandemic, that can raise a lot of havoc for the children as well. They have this bellyache as to the uncertainty. Am I going to school? Is it going to be different at my parents, at my mom’s versus my dad’s? They’re fighting.

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That’s not good for them as well. Sorry about that. Talk about a parent who’s in high conflict and needs you right now.

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No, no, not sometimes. At times when there is this high conflict and you get a sense that the child is unsettled inside. When do you, what are the indications to go get a psychological evaluation of the child? Are there markers for that, that parents talk with you about? Well, the same markers you have as parents.

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If your child is talking about suicide, if your child is depressed, if your child won’t go and socialize with their friends, even virtually, if your child won’t participate and be involved, these are all red flags any of us parents see. And if that’s happening, especially now as a result of the pandemic, there’s a lot of telemedicine. And yes, if a client calls me and says their child is going through this, or I see it more after coming back from one parent’s home, that may involve us asking the court for some help.

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And the court does have the authority to authorize custodial evaluators, or therapy or therapeutic situations for a certain amount of time. All very interesting. These are very unsettling and trying times.

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And this COVID issue, I think is weighing on people more than many realize. Even in as seemingly an innocuous decision as, am I going to school in September? I know. Bonnie, thanks so much.

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Thank you so much for all your information always. And thank everyone for tuning in to another edition of Family Law Matters. Bonnie, if people wanna be in touch with Primus Family Law Group, how can they do so? They can reach out to us by phone 619-574-8000, or they can reach us online www.primusfamilylaw.com. As always, Michael, it’s a pleasure.

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I appreciate you doing this with me so we can better help our community.