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Hi everyone and welcome to Family Law Matters. I’m Dr. Michael Mantell and I’m privileged to be joining Bonnie RABINOVITCH Mantel, founder and managing partner of the Primus Family Law Group. Hi Bonnie.

Good morning Michael. How are you doing today? I’m doing great. I’m looking forward to spending some time tackling an important issue with you that many people have on their mind and a couple of people have actually written to us.

So you ready? I’m ready. Okay. So a common question is, and I don’t think it’s related to COVID, I don’t think it’s related to the uptick that we’re seeing in divorce, but people want to know how long of a process is it to get divorced? Specifically, folks are asking about residency requirements, time that you have to be separated, is there a waiting period? Can you talk a little bit about that? Sure.

In order to file for divorce in California, you have to have been a resident here for at least six months. You can file for, my dog was chiming in, you can file for legal separation if you’ve been a resident for three months. So some people who want to get the process going will file for legal separation and then amend the petition to file for divorce once they’ve met the six-month requirement.

As for how long it takes, Quinn agrees, how long it takes, there’s what is known as a cooling-off period. So you are supposed to, between the petition and when the court will stamp you as single, their six months must elapse. So some people feel like you have to get it all done in six months, which is not true.

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If you’ve beyond the six months, whenever you guys process your agreement or the court orders a judgment, they will stamp you divorced that day. If you are finished, let’s say you guys come to an agreement before the six months is up, you can submit everything and then the court, when they process it, will calculate six months. So everything will be processed but you won’t be divorced until that sixth month and they will stamp it and it will be automatically effective on that sixth month.

Does that help? Yeah, I think for those who have that question, those answers are helpful. But I have a question. You call it a six-month cooling-off period.

I use the term a waiting period. The cooling-off period can sometimes be a steaming-up period when there’s real animosity and anger between two people that lead them to divorce in the first place. What happens during those six months if the anger gets the best of people? Does the court ever decide, okay, okay, you guys, we’re just going to cut it now? No.

What they will do, I mean, if people get so rancorous that they can’t agree, that’s when motions are filed and the court has to get involved to making orders. What I often tell people, or at least from my experience, is that it can ramp up in anger at the beginning and then once court orders are made or once there’s a little bit of time cooling off, you tend to relax a little bit and it becomes a little bit easier, either to transition towards divorce or to get into the routine with your children. At the beginning, it’s very emotional.

It’s the breakdown of a family. There’s all these emotions along with all these legal procedures, so that doesn’t help. That’s why they say they also call it a cooling-off period because it gives you six months to really decide whether or not you want a divorce.

A lot of people come to the conclusion that maybe they need to put things on hold. You know, they’ve gone through the motion of filing, they’ve gotten to the point of getting orders even, and then they decide they want to seek some counseling. And that’s what we’re here to, you know, we’re not here to push the divorce.

We’re here to allow for that cooling off to see what happens. What happens during that, as you call, cooling-off period? There becomes abuse. San Diego has places where folks can go for protection.

What are some of these shelters and some of the homes that people, particularly women, can go to during this period of time if that cooling off is not cooling off at all, but ramping up? Cooling off, you don’t have to be in the same room, into the same home. Usually people who separate, one of them stays in the house if they own a home, or they both, you know, move to different places to allow for, especially if you have children, to allow for the friction not to, you know, flow down to the children. But if there is honest domestic violence, you know, there are several shelters across San Diego that you can google within, you know, seconds and just get out.

Call the police, get out. Call the police before you call anybody else and get out. And you’ve had those cases, of course, haven’t you? Of course.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So, are there any other stumbling blocks besides residency or separation time or the cooling-off period that stretches out of divorce? Well, you’re required when you’re getting divorced to exchange your financial information, and that is everything you own, everything you owe, everything you have, everything you spent. So, what can make it a lengthier process is when people delay getting those done, when people try to hide things and, you know, you have to proceed with more formal processes like subpoenas or other forms of discovery.

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That tends to make it lengthier and obviously more expensive. The only ones who benefit from that are the attorneys because, you know, we’re getting paid to do something that is by law supposed to be a transparent process. So, if people want to do this in the shortest way possible, what’s the fastest way for them to get through this divorce process? Be honest with your attorney.

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Be honest with yourself as to what expectations you can manage in this divorce. Provide as much documentation as is possible. Don’t hide things and be reasonable with the other side, and that’ll get you done months or less.

So, the fastest someone can get divorced if they’re in, if they have residency, they agree on everything, they’re honest, they’re transparent, they’re sharing everything, the fastest that that divorce can happen is six months? Well, yes, but like I said, I’ve had cases where people come in for mediation, we get all the documents done in a month, we then do the proper service, you know, requirements, and we get the rest of the agreement done in the next month. So, within about two or two and a half months, we’re able to submit a document to the court and then it gets processed. So, let’s say by some luck the court isn’t backed up in processing things and they’re able to process it in the fourth month.

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Well, they will stamp you divorced as of that sixth month. So, you started your process January 1 and you were completely done by April. They’re still going to count you legally single.

You cannot get remarried until June 1, but all your documents are done, everything’s divided, it’s a contract, it’s signed, it’s enforceable, but you’re just not able to get remarried. Well, here’s another example why people say that Primus Family Law Group approaches every case with ingenuity and with integrity to make positive, real differences in people’s lives with answers like that. Bonnie, thanks very, very much.

If people want to be in touch with you for a free consultation or get more information about Primus Family Law, how can they do that? Well, you can reach us directly at 619-574-8000 or on our website at www.primusfamilylaw.com and we’re also on Twitter and Instagram and Facebook and I know that there’s a bunch of these Family Law Matters episodes out there tackling other issues. So, have a look-see. And if people have questions that they want us to tackle here, how can they write in and get those questions up front for us? Well, it’s support.

That’s s-u-p-p-o-r-t at primusfamilylaw.com and we appreciate the questions. Bonnie, thanks very much. We appreciate your expertise.

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Until the next time, folks, have a great day.