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Hi everyone, I’m Dr. Michael Mantell and I’m here with Bonnie Rabinovitch Mantel, the founder and managing partner of Primus Family Law. Hi Bonnie. Hi Michael, how are you doing today? Great Bonnie, you are a CFLS.
What is a CFLS? It means Certified Family Law Specialist. So when you become an attorney and you’ve been practicing a lot of years, you have the right to take even more tests and more exams and study even more so you can get further specialization. And each branch, family law, criminal, a lot of them have specialties that you can study for and if you pass, you are then accredited as a Certified Family Law Specialist in the state of California.
I’m only, I’m only designated as a, I call it a syphilis because if you put those letters together. Only you would say that. In the state of California, every state has its own accreditation.
So it essentially, it’s like being post-master, it’s like having a doctor of family law. Well, PhD, you know, stands for piled higher and deeper. Okay.
We have been collecting questions from people who have been very eager to tap your brain and your many, many decades of experience in family law. And so if people want to write in to get information, what is the, what is the email address? Well, if they want to write in to see if their questions are going to be dealt with on our Family Law Matters episodes, it would be support. That’s S-U-P-P-O-R-T at primusfamilylaw.com, P-R-I-M-U-S-F-A-M-I-L-Y-L-A-W.com. Great.
I’ll share with you a couple of questions that I grouped together from what people have written to us, to you actually. What do I do if my ex doesn’t pay their child support? Well, there are two ways. If they have a court order, they can go to family court with a motion for enforcement.
And not only will the court, you know, not like the person who’s not paying for their children, but they are allowed to order that all of the attorney’s fees and costs incurred to enforce a valid court order, the other side will have to pay. So that helps people who don’t necessarily, who don’t understand why they should have to go back to court to, to enforce an order. If they have to do that, they can get at least their fees paid for having to do so.
But there’s also a second way, Michael, you can go to the department of child support services. If you have a valid court order from family court or from department of child support services, they will enforce it on their own. And what’s nice about department of child support services is they can garnish your wages.
They can take your driver’s license. They can take your passport. So if you do not pay your child support, there are pretty severe consequences that will happen.
Related to that. And the same person wrote this, what happens if I pay my child support late? Apparently they pay it, but they, they pay it late. Well, it depends how late they’re paying it.
I mean, if they’re paying it late, and at least they’ve spoken to the other side and said, Hey, you know, I only get paid on the 15th and the 30th. And the order says the first, can we make an arrangement? You know, at least they’re letting the other side know. But you have to realize that the other side is probably relying on that money.
And if their rent is relying on that money, it’s a pretty horrible thing to do if you’re paying it late. So you can get in trouble. I mean, you can be in contempt of a court order if you’re not paying it on time.
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And the last question related to this topic from someone else is, can things that I purchased from my child count towards my child support? Well, that’s a really broad question. It depends what you’re purchasing. I mean, everybody’s required to purchase their own clothes, the basic necessities in their own home.
So if you’re purchasing shoes for your child in your home, no, that’s not something that is addressed in child support. Child support is what the other side needs to make up that difference between the two homes in the basic necessities. If you’re paying for extracurricular activities, that’s over and above.
If you’re paying for medical expenses, you’re supposed to be paying for sharing those anyway. So no, nothing really gets deducted from the child support you’re ordered to pay. So you mentioned clothing.
This may be a very, very focused question, but so if someone buys like a jacket or shoes or something for their son or daughter and they wear it at the father’s house or the mother’s house, they don’t deduct that, do they? No. No, no. That’s just part of being a parent.
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Correct. Yeah. And the interesting thing about these types of questions is that I think parents have to remember you’re a parent and whether you think this is really going to the opposite, the former spouse or former partner, it’s, this is for your child.
That’s why they call it child support. So parents are so nitpicky, Michael, that for example, now think about what this does to a child. Child is dressed in clothes bought by parent A going to parent B’s house.
Parent A is concerned that the clothes are not going to come back. So they require child to get undressed when they get to parent B and put it all in a bag and make sure that it goes back to parent A. I’ve even seen judges have to order about whether or not the clothing should be washed before it goes back to parent A. The way that affects a child’s psyche is immeasurable and parents just don’t get it until it’s too late. It’s called child support.
Support. It’s not called child money. No.
Or it’s not a contract. It’s not a roommate situation where you’re sharing the shelves in a fridge. This is a child and your kid needs, you know, I’ve heard parents say, oh, you need a haircut, go to your father and get it done.
That’s, but again, crushing. Yes, it crushes children. And our job as attorneys is to try to educate a little bit and explain, you know, not be a therapist, but explain about what they may not see, because this is new for most parents, never been in a divorce.
They have emotions that are rampant. They’re not sure themselves how to deal with it all. And they probably, I mean, I don’t believe parents do it maliciously.
I think they do it inadvertently. And then they don’t realize what they’re doing. And part of our job is to just say, hey, you know, this is unacceptable or why.
Briefly, otherwise you get into that tangent, which takes us away from what is our job, getting you through the system. When I work with parents who are divorcing, I reframe the question from paying child support to asking them, what does supporting your child mean to you? And we talk about the heart and giving and being concerned and compassion. These are the very things you touch on as an attorney.
And that’s what makes Bonnie Rabinovitch-Mantel, CFLS, head of Primus Family Law Group, so special and so unique. It comes from the heart, not just the head. Bonnie, it’s a pleasure to have spent this time chatting with you.
Thank you very, very much. If people want to be in touch or a free 30 minute consultation with you, how can they do that? You can reach us at 619-574-8000 and Malani or Sean will definitely get you on my calendar, or you can reach out at www.primusfamilylaw.com. There’s a form you can fill out and those are also addressed and scheduled as well. Bonnie, thank you very much for another incredibly important and insightful, informative Family Law Matters.
Thank you very much. We’ll see you next time.