Family Law Matters – Episode 78 – Mediation

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(0:00 – 0:18)
Welcome to Family Law Matters. Hi, I’m Dr. Michael Mantell and it’s always a privilege for me to be joining Bonnie Rabinovitch Mantel, owner and managing partner of The Primus Family Law Group, a family-oriented firm where experience meets results. Hi, Bonnie.

(0:19 – 1:45)
Hi, Michael. How are you doing today? I’m doing great. It’s May.

That’s terrific. Bonnie, I have a question that I’m sure anyone who works with couples going through separation or divorce deals with. You go through the system, whether you have an attorney or you don’t, it doesn’t matter, but you’re going through the system and you are running into one obstacle or another.

You can’t agree on very much. The two sides are becoming more and more conflictual. You don’t want to keep spending more and more money.

What can couples do? What’s an alternative? You know, what’s nice, Michael, is Primus, we offer what is called mediation. Now, a lot of people are like, oh, well, you know, you have to start at the beginning in order to have mediation. That’s not true.

I get a lot of couples who come to me, whether or not they have an attorney or whether or not, you know, one side has an attorney and they’re like, we want to be done. But, you know, the court system is backed up. So hearing dates are very, very far out.

And we can either help you with one issue. Hey, you know, we have custody and visitation. We can’t agree.

Can you mediate that one issue? Or I can mediate the end of the case. And I do that often. A couple of times a week, people use me to say, hey, here’s the big picture.

(1:45 – 2:41)
They give me all the documents that they need to give me. I review everything. And then I work with both sides to come up with a compromise position somewhere in the middle that everybody can live with, that nobody’s extremely happy with, but at least everybody can live with.

So you can end it that very day. And the courts are so appreciative of getting these cases resolved and off their dockets. And the people I help are so appreciative because they get to move on.

You know, that day is the day. Is that that’s called mediation? Yeah, it’s a type of mediation. It’s a private mediation where both of you pay.

Usually I offer a reduced rate because we’re not litigating. The point is to get you guys done. And so we offer a reduced rate to get them done.

(2:42 – 3:41)
And does the other side give his or her agreement to their to an attorney to review? They can. They absolutely can. They probably should.

The point is you’ve gotten to a point where you want to be done. And when you’re at that point, you know, all the documents that have been done. So I can look at everything and see where there’s movement and help people resolve as many issues as they can.

Imagine if you go to trial because you have 10 issues, that’s going to take a lot longer than if you go to trial and all you have is one little issue or if you don’t have to go to trial at all, which is exhausting emotionally and financially draining, whether or not you have an attorney because you’re missing work. You know, there’s all the same consequences, except what I can do is I can bring it to a close. And that’s so important for people, the court and their children.

(3:42 – 4:25)
What I hear from couples who have experienced that type of mediation with you at Primus Family Law is that you bring closure, not revenge, and that this approach rests on an understanding that divorce is the end of the marriage. It’s not the end of their world, where a very conflictual, high conflict type of resolution can go on for years and even after the courts have said you’re divorced, that high conflict continues. So this sounds like a great way to pull the plug on all that, let the negative air out of the system and be able to move forward, especially with children.

(4:28 – 4:54)
Absolutely. If you want to reach out to me and find out how I can do those mediations for you, please reach out at 619-574-8000. And Malani will get you on my calendar for a free 30-minute phone consultation.

Or you can reach out through the website at www.primusfamilylaw.com.