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Hello everyone and welcome to Family Law Matters. I’m Dr. Michael Mantell, always privileged to be joining Bonnie Rabinovitch-Mantel, owner and managing partner of the highly esteemed Primus Family Law Group. Hi, Bonnie.

Hi, Michael, and it’s always my pleasure. Oh, come on. It’s actually my pleasure.

Are we going to do this? Well, it’s my day. Oh, it’s your day. Oh, no, it’s your day.

So I’m not going to help you at all because it’s your day. Yeah, exactly. Now, only people who are in the midst of divorce know what we’re talking about.

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Let’s pick up on what is this? It’s no, I’m sorry, it’s your day. If you’re in the midst of divorce, you know what we’re talking about, don’t you? I hope not, but unfortunately too much. Yep, it’s your day.

So let me help you there. Let me explain. It’s your day means that if for some reason your child is sick at school, it’s your day.

So I’m not going to go pick up my child because it’s the other parent’s day. Now, as attorneys, we may understand that as parents, we find that appalling. And as human beings, please step back and ask yourself, what am I saying to this little child I’m raising? Think about this.

I’m sorry, Bonnie, I didn’t mean to interrupt. Oh, no, I understand. You and I have talked about this before and we get very heated about this because unfortunately in family law matters, people tend to lose sight while thinking they are so concerned about the best interests of their children.

They end up losing sight of their children. And they use that. It’s your day, not because it has anything with the kid.

It’s a battle with the ex-spouse. You can’t tell me it’s your day. Folks, take away from this brief discussion the idea that life is not a seesaw.

You don’t go up by pushing the other person down. How about it’s our day? Let’s figure out how to deal with this for the benefit of our children. Now, Michael, everybody who’s screaming out there is going, our day? That’s impossible because then we share custody and we don’t share custody.

I have more time. So it’s their day. And let them show that they’re going to do something for our child on their day.

Right. It’s your day is oftentimes pulled out in a vindictive way. You know, Michael, one of the things I often say is what is great for your case is awful for your child.

You’ll be able to walk into court and go, I did it all on my days. And he’ll, she or he will not be able to say that. But the one who suffers is your child.

And people need to get better at this. As you often say, divorce is the end of a marriage, but it does not have to be the end of one’s life. And certainly not the end of a child’s life.

If people have some desire to discuss this with you further, how can they be in touch with you? They could reach us at 619-574-8000. And Melanie will be more than happy to get you on my calendar for a free 30 minute phone consultation. You can also reach us at www.PrimusFamilyLaw.com.