(0:00 – 0:17)
Hi everyone, I’m Dr. Michael Mantel with Bonnie Rabinovitch-Mantel, owner and managing partner of the Primus Family Law Group on another edition of Family Law Matters. Hi Bonnie. Hi Michael, how are you doing today? Doing well, thank you very much.

(0:17 – 0:46)
Bonnie, you are in a profession that often sees, I’m just gonna say it, the worst, the most difficult, contentious, argumentative relationship situations. The marriage has crumbled, people are angry, but it doesn’t have to be contentious and it doesn’t have to be negative. We don’t have to see name-calling and all the things that take place.

(0:46 – 1:06)
You always say that divorce is the end of a marriage, it’s not the end of life. Talk a little bit about this mindset that you bring that suggests that it can be a positive thing to grow through. Michael, I’m gonna clarify a little.

(1:07 – 1:22)
It is gonna be contentious, it’s just how you deal with the contention that matters. So often I’ll say, it’s not gonna be easy. It is the end of a relationship, it goes through all those stages of grief, one of them is anger.

(1:22 – 1:58)
It’s not gonna be easy, but it doesn’t have to be bitter. You see a lot of advertising, the system itself plays toward some sort of battleground, adversarial, but as we’re seeing a lot more these days, people are trying, at least attorneys, to make it a little bit more collaborative. You have the attorneys that play into the battleground because, well, that makes them more money, but it’s not about robbing everybody from their college funds for their kids, their retirement accounts and all their savings.

(1:59 – 2:27)
So the attorneys can drive fancy cars, that certainly gives the attorneys bad names. What we’re trying to do at Primus is create a situation where we resolve more than we fight about. We’re excellent fighters, but it’s we choose to use those skills to negotiate tangible, agreed upon, informed agreements instead of creating and fostering the battleground.

(2:28 – 2:54)
There’s no doubt there’s anger and hurt and sadness and all the rest because a relationship has been broken. Someone has cheated, the love is gone, whatever it might be. So of course there are these healthy, excuse me, there are these negative emotions, but what you try and I try to do with people is help them understand that we are perching them up for the rest of their lives.

(2:54 – 3:13)
And if you hold on to that, he shouldn’t have done this, this is horrible, I can’t stand it. What it does to you, it doesn’t let you move forward. And one of the things that I particularly admire and really truly treasure about my relationship with Primus Family Law is that that’s not what you promote.

(3:14 – 3:33)
You promote the eyes, the minds focusing on a healthier tomorrow, healthy negative emotions. That’s what Primus Family Law promotes. This is a process they have to get through Michael, but we try to get them to see that there’s a door to the future.

(3:33 – 4:21)Malani will be more than happy to put you on my calendar for a free 30 minute phone consultation or you can reach out directly at www.PrimusFamilyLaw.com and fill out the info sheet.