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Hello everyone and welcome to another Family Law Matters. I’m Dr. Michael Mantell, always privileged to be joining Bonnie Rabinovitch-Mantel, owner and managing partner of the highly esteemed Primus Family Law Group. Hi Bonnie.
Hi Michael. You know it’s just funny, I want to remind everybody because somebody asked me again this week, we are not related folks, different spelling of our last names, we happen to be really close friends and have been for, wow, it’s almost decades now, and but we are not related. This is not my husband, he’s not my brother, my uncle, my father, we’re not related.
You didn’t say grandfather, so I’m glad you didn’t say that. Okay, Bonnie, enough with the joking, we have a very serious topic. This time of the year, the cooler season, the winter season, such as it is here in San Diego, the holiday season, brings out the best, but it also brings out the worst.
And we know that mental health is at a crisis point. There aren’t enough mental health professionals, there’s not enough insurance, there’s not enough time, the pressures of buying what we see we’re supposed to have on TV. I want the kids, no, I want the kids, it’s my turn, why can’t I walk on the streets for Halloween with them? No, you can’t.
It’s a time of bitter anger and oftentimes abuse, physically and certainly emotionally. Let’s talk a little bit about that and how Primus Family Law Group can help your clients when one feels victimized by the other. You know, Michael, I wish it was so cut and dry as to say physical abuse or emotional abuse, but it is so much more insidious, especially with social media.
So you have, you know, people posting horrible things about each other on social media, other people then getting involved in that back and forth. It is posting pictures, old pictures, revenge pictures. It is really, really taking a turn for the worse and Primus Family Law, you know, we have a couple of steps.
If you’re being stalked, followed, tracked, all of those are criminal offenses. Call a police officer, please. Do not wait.
Call the cops. Then your second call is to an attorney, a good attorney who can get you a restraining order because if somebody’s stalking you and tracking you and posting and invading your personal space and your peace of mind, that is now sanctionable and we can get you a restraining order so that you are not walking around in fear. Now understand, I said really important words, stalking, tracking, fear.
We’re not going to take on a case where this is just some ploy and people do that. You know, I want to get custody of the kids and this is the best way to do it because I found out that if there’s a restraining order, there’s less likelihood or the other side is going to have to jump through a lot more hoops to get custody. We’re not going to do that because we’re going to do things with integrity.
But if you’re really scared and this person is following you and making your life miserable, this person doesn’t have to physically harm you. They can emotionally harm you in such a way that it’s affecting your ability to do what you need to do for yourself and your children. Primus is here to help you with that.
You said something very, very important. Primus Family Law Group seeks closure, not revenge. You understand that the divorce is the end of a marriage.
It’s not the end of your client’s world and you’re are triggered. They are interested in who is she seeing over the holiday? Who is he dating? And they do track social media is a big one. Is there any, are there any particular steps that you can, that you have legally? If you believe that someone is in social media, particularly stalking or in some way interfering with your life, you call the police for that as well? Yes, because it is stalking is a, an actual crime.
Harassment is an actual crime. Obviously, it helps our purposes. If you take screenshots, you have the evidence, the actual documentary evidence instead of, you know, he, she was mean to me.
That’s not going to work. But if you have the evidence showing what is being done, judicial officer in the family court and a DA in the criminal court is more likely to listen to your story. Many of your clients don’t have children.
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Certainly those that do need to take a step back and ask themselves, what is my erupting in anger doing to help my child? Someone asked me recently, what can parents do to help children not become swallowed by social media? And I said, well, I have an idea. How about if the parents put their cell phones down first? Similarly, if you want your kids to not be angry, not, not to be fighting all the time, not to be shouting and cursing, look in the mirror. And this time of the year is the real challenge.
So when you have clients that have kids and one says, well, why can’t I walk the streets of Halloween trick or treating with the other? And it’s not their time. What do you do? Well, you have to explain to them that it’s not their time. There are some cases where the parents are amicable and they can do that.
But unfortunately, that’s the exception, not the rule as much as we would like. And you have to give the other parent the space. York, it washes out.
You’re not going to get a Halloween, but you’ll get Thanksgiving. You won’t get Thanksgiving, but you’ll get Christmas. So it does wash out.
But what’s important, not just about putting your own cell phone down is also understanding that kids are so bombarded with social media. And it is so easy to be harassing and stalking on social media because it is anonymous and it’s safe from a distance. But you’re teaching your children.
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Sorry, I have dogs. You’re teaching your children that it’s OK to do this to another human being. And that is horrible, terrible and awful for them to learn that that’s OK.
And also you don’t want them to be think it’s OK to be the victim of that. Bonnie, I must tell you the dog barked at the exact moment that I was just thinking of a question that came and that this is amazing. I mean, you know, we see these links that many people don’t see.
But honest to goodness, it was exactly when Munson barked. Here’s what the question is. My child wants to take my dog, his dog and so forth with him when he goes to daddy’s house.
But I want my dog with me, but he wants the dog with him and it’s not part of any court order. What do you do? I guess it depends if daddy’s house has room for the dog. So let’s pretend that both homes have the room and both parents are capable of taking care of the dog.
I always try to suggest that if this dog is something your child is relying on for some emotional stability, let the dog go. Sorry, be the grown up. Right.
We’re on the same mental health path. Bonnie, if people want to be in touch with you and ask you more about these kinds of questions with children or without children about harassment, difficulties, abuse of any kind, especially during this time of heightened emotion, how can they be in touch with you? You can always reach us directly at 619-574-8000. And we will put you on my calendar for a free 30 minute phone consultation so we can see how Primus can help you.
And if you can also reach us online at www.PrimusFamilyLaw.com. There’s a form to fill out. We call you really quickly to see how again, we can put you on my calendar for that consultation. And if people have concern about the finances, what do they do? Well, we actually now offer financing through a third party.
And that is been very helpful for those who want to get our help. But it is, we understand these issues, family law matters can be expensive. Great.
Bonnie, thanks so much. Happy holidays. Love you, Michael.
Love you, Bonnie. Even though we’re not related. Not related.
Bye-bye. Bye.