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Welcome to Family Law Matters. I’m Dr. Michael Mantell, privileged to be joining Bonnie Rabinovitch-Mantel, owner and managing partner of the Primus Family Law Group, a team that’s family-oriented and always brings their experience for the best results. Hi, Bonnie.

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Hi, Michael. How are you doing today? I’m doing great. Bonnie, you look like you’re busy doing something.

Share. Well, I did. I got a puppy.

It’s actually my daughter’s early holiday present. But because I’m the queen of puppy training, I’m going to train this little guy until she’s ready to go to my daughter. But right now, I’m keeping her out of being eaten by my other dogs.

There we go. Okay. Thanks for another wonderful Family Law Matters.

We’ll see. Oh, no. Maybe we should talk about something.

You mentioned holiday time. We are in the burrs. That’s October, November, and December, the only months that have the burrs.

And with the burrs comes the holidays. We have them all starting right now. And I guess this brings two issues.

Two big issues for Family Law. One is if there are children, how do we start separating the kids and celebrate and give the kids a good time? And two, what if we don’t have kids? What if this is the first round of holidays without our spouse? Whether we wanted the divorce or they want the divorce, we agreed on it or whatever. How do we handle it? So Bonnie, let’s talk a little bit about this.

(1:49 – 2:02)
Don’t you know, Michael, it really depends. I mean, if you guys if you have children, and you already have orders for what you’re supposed to do during the holidays, follow your orders. You know, don’t you’re not allowed to make plans on the other parents time.

(2:02 – 4:08)
Don’t do that. Even though you’ve got grandma coming in from out of town. Don’t expect that you’re going to get extra time for that.

So you’ve got to really follow your court orders. If you don’t have court orders, try to work together because this is not about you. Yes, the holidays are about you.

But come on, let’s be real. It’s about the children. And so you want to make it as comfortable and pleasant for them.

They don’t need the added stress of figuring out oh my god, mommy and daddy or mommy and mommy or daddy and daddy are arguing over the holidays. Try to be reasonable. And if you can’t try to get in quicker to get some orders so that these kids can have a reasonable holiday season.

Now if you’re alone, you know, I understand that’s tough. That’s tough. Because you’re looking around.

Why should I bother doing a tree? Why should I bother cooking? Well, you know what, it’s really important for your own self care and your own mental health to continue those traditions or start new ones, go out with a bunch of friends, you know, make plans with other people while your spouse is doing whatever they’re doing. It’s important not to give up on yourself during this time. Those are great tips.

And I like especially the mental health tips about self care. One of the things that I see parents doing when they’re when they’re trying to figure out orders for the holidays and who’s going to have a kid’s Christmas, even Christmas morning and then later and so forth and so on. What about the idea of mediating instead of fighting that instead of two sides warring against each other, talk a little bit about how a divorcing couple can mediate those issues.

You know, it’s a really nice way the way you said it to mediate the issues. A lot of people think that you can only do mediation for the entire case. That is not true.

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You can pick certain issues that you know are either coming quickly like holiday sharing, or that you know are going to be really large sticking points and try to separate those issues we say bifurcate in the legal field, but separate that issue. Find a really skilled mediator who can help the two of you come to an agreement on that particular issue. And what’s nice about that is if you guys are willing to agree, you’re a lot more likely to follow those agreements than if you have a judicial officer shoving orders down your throat, which may not work for your particular situation.

The first agreement that parents need to agree on is that children’s needs are important. Do you both agree with that? Yes, I do. And that’s when it starts to break down in terms of defining.

(5:04 – 5:59)
Well, the kids need to come with me to hear and the kids need to know the kids need to be and so that’s where I think a skilled experience decades long of experience, someone like you, Bonnie, can be of help. If people want to reach out and talk with you about this, how can they be in touch with you? Well, they can reach us directly at 619-574-8000 and speak to Malani and she’ll put you on my calendar for a free 30-minute phone consultation. Or you can reach out through the website.

We have a handy dandy form that you can fill out at www.primusfamilylaw.com. And for those of you are going, wow, you know, attorneys are so expensive. We also offer financing options. So that can help you guys get the help you need and not worry about how you’re going to pay for it.

(5:59 – 6:12)
That sounds great, Bonnie. I wish you and your new little addition to the family a very healthy, very happy, peaceful holiday season. We’ll see you next time at Family Law Matters.