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Welcome to Family Law Matters. I’m Dr. Michael Mantell, privileged to be joining Bonnie Rabinovitch Mantel, who is the owner and managing partner of the highly esteemed Primus Family Law Group. Hi, Bonnie.

Hi, Michael. How are you doing today? Doing well, thank you. How are you? I’m good.

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Good, good. So today I thought we could talk a little bit more about mediation. I know it’s a is near and dear to your heart, and you believe in it in terms of its value in helping people move through the divorce process and grow through the divorce process.

Now, when people come to mediation, sometimes people are at a loss to know what questions to ask. When you go to a doctor, sometimes you don’t know what questions to ask, and it’s important to know in advance. So let’s talk a little bit about what would be wise for people to be asking during the mediation process.

Well, they really need to understand that they don’t need to come to a mediator with everything decided. A lot of them that I work with are like, well, don’t I need to already have this and this and this and this? No, that’s what we’re here for, is to help you figure out some of those issues that you may not have already come to agreement. But what’s important to know from your mediator is, does your mediator give equal opportunity to both parties? Because as a mediator, I’m neutral.

I don’t represent one spouse or the other, or one partner or the other. I represent, the way I explain it, getting you through the process. So my job is to explain what the law is, so you know what you’re entitled to, and that will help you understand what you’re compromising about and what you’re trying to settle on so that you can get through the process.

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So questions to ask, how many bank statements do I need to provide? Am I going to be working directly with the attorney? Do you have a paralegal? Because a paralegal is obviously somebody trained by the attorney that has a hopefully a lower rate than the attorney. So because we all live in San Diego and can’t afford it, it’s nice to know if there are things that ways that we stretch your dollars to make those dollars last longer to try to get you through the process as efficiently and inexpensively as possible. So what documents do I need to have is an important question.

What kind of sessions do we have? Do we have them always together? Am I allowed to have an individual session? I allow my people to vent. You guys are getting divorced. Not everything’s going to be pleasant.

You need to have sometimes a wall to throw things at. I like to be that wall. How long does the process take? You know, do you go as fast as we go? Do you push us? Some people want to be pushed because they’re not sure of the process.

Some people want to be left alone. We’ll call you when we’re ready. So, you know, these are all things on process of mediation, which is very different than litigation because you and your spouse or your partner are working collaboratively with one person to help you get through.

So the more you understand about the dynamics of that triangle, the better you’re going to feel the process is working for you. Bonnie, you’re described as being relentless and formidable. You are one tough, tough attorney.

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And at the same time, your heart and your soul come out. And in particular, I imagine through mediation, you are there to help people just as you said it beautifully to go through a process. This doesn’t have to be a war.

This is not the end of life. It’s the end of a marriage. And so if people have questions and they want to talk with you about this before they go down this road, how can they do that? How can they be in touch? They can reach me at 619-574-8000 and you will be put directly on my calendar for a free 30 minute phone consultation.

Or you can reach us online at www.PrimusFamilyLaw.com. Fill out the form and we will call you and schedule that free 30 minute phone consultation.