(0:03 – 1:43)
Hi everyone, I’m Dr. Michael Mantell joining Bonnie Rabinovitch Mantel for another Family Law Matters. Bonnie is the owner and managing partner of the Primus Family Law Group.

Hi Bonnie. Hi Michael, how are you doing today? Doing well, doing well. This is a tough time of the year for so many people.

We talk about holiday stress and we talk about holiday distress and people have expectations of how perfect it has to be and people, the family is not going to come together or they’re going to come together and explode based on politics. But you help people deal with some very specific issues around child visitation and those sorts of things. Let’s talk a little bit about that.

You know, Michael, the holidays can be very stressful for the parents, but it’s also really stressful for kids if it’s not managed properly. You know, whether or not you have court orders, there seems to be always some sort of discord or, you know, around the holidays. Everybody wants to maximize their time with the children and unfortunately it seems to be that people forget the children.

They all say they’re acting in the best interest of their children, but oftentimes if they’re really, I don’t know, looking at themselves, they’re acting in the best interest of themselves and that’s not necessarily or usually in the best interest of the children. So any advice we could give at this point in time for these holidays would be really put your children first. If your child wants to spend some extra time with the other parent, that doesn’t mean they don’t want to be with you.

(1:43 – 2:08)
One is not, you know, completely against the other. It’s a matter of whatever’s going on and sometimes you just have to say okay and make it okay for your kid. Now, you may have the other situation where your child does not want to go to the other side and what do you have to do there? Well, you know what? It’s really important that children have both parents in their lives.

(2:08 – 3:48)
Even if you guys have different parenting styles, even if you guys have different ways of looking at things, your child is a combination of both of you and they need to know that it’s important to go see their parent. Even if they’re teenagers and they’re allowed to make their own decisions, tough. It’s time to go and see your other parent and the only one who can make you really do that is your parent.

I just had a session yesterday and the mom was sitting there, they are divorced and the mom was saying she’s got to go out and get all these Christmas gifts and all the holiday gifts and she wants to get the exact perfect gift for the teenage children and I said the best gift you can give isn’t what you’re going to buy. It’s the words you’re going to say and just what you said. Encourage your kids to be with the other parent.

Yeah, but you don’t understand. I understand he’s all that. That’s why you’re divorced.

I get it, but this isn’t about he. This is about your children. Very much so, Michael.

Great words you shared. Bonnie, if people have questions and they want to ask you about visitation and all kinds of other things that come up over the holidays, how can they be in touch with you? Well, they can reach us directly 619-574-8000 and you will be placed on my calendar for either a telephone free consultation or a Zoom free consultation as you wish and you can also reach out to us online at www.PrimusFamilyLaw.com and we have several ways that you can submit your questions and we will get back to you.