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Hi everyone, I’m Dr. Michael Mantell with another Family Law Matters, joining Bonnie Rabinovitch Mantel, who is the owner and managing partner of the Primus Family Law Group. Hi Bonnie. Hi Michael, how are you today? Doing well, thank you very much.

How are you doing? Oh, I’m glad everybody’s in my kitchen with me today. Here we are. What’s for dinner? Oh, never mind.

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Okay, let’s talk about something a little bit more important and perhaps a more serious topic. And that is when it comes to divorce and stress in the family that leads to divorce and the dynamics of what people go through, often times children are in the middle. And we counsel, don’t put your kids in the middle and all that, but it just happens.

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And there are times when children need counseling and times when spouses need counseling and people push back against that. I’d like to hear your opinion about that. And as a divorce attorney, how you deal with that? Well, you know, Michael, there’s a fine line, right? We’re supposed to be adults.

If you’re talking about putting spouses or parties into counseling, you know, we’re adults and we’re supposed to have autonomy and we do. However, if the court realizes that it’s in the best interest of your children, or if you’re going to do something that may be harmful to yourself, the court in family court has the authority to order the parties and the children into counseling with a licensed mental health practitioner for up to a year, or unless the counselor has released them sooner. And it’s done for a variety of reasons.

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Sometimes you have parents who, you know, get angry really quickly and they need some help in figuring that out because children test our patience and we must, you know, we can’t fly off the handle at every turn. Sometimes children and parents have fallen out and they need their own therapist to figure out why little Johnny won’t go see daddy anymore. And what’s going on.

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And it may not be because there’s some sort of abuse or something horrific. It just may be personalities, hormones, puberty, stress, divorce, do families, all of it that creates all this tension. And that is why any good family law attorney does have life coaches and mental health professionals and conjoined therapists at the ready so that we can help a family on Toto, you know, all of the family.

I’ve seen too often in a divorce situation where people are not getting along to begin with, and they are angry to beyond belief at each other. They are so quick to point a finger. You’re crazy.

You need help. You need a shrink and you’re hurting the kids and the kids won’t talk to you. And there’s parent alienation, a phrase that we hear more and more always, I guess.

And yet people sometimes think that I can’t say anything because I’m afraid I’m going to hurt the child. Your advice, if you suspect emotional difficulties or abuse or someone’s suffering because of the psychological distress that another person’s under, what should people do? Well, first of all, you know, there are those four one ones or those one one calls that you can call to get immediate help. If there’s really a mental health breakdown, there’s nine one one.

If you need emergent care, if you have an attorney, call your attorney and ask for referrals. Chances are they have a host of referrals for you. They will allow you guys some relief, but don’t just sit and wallow in it.

Recognize it for what it is. Divorce or anything custodial battle is the death of a relationship. And there’s all those stages of grief and the anger and the recrimination and resentment and all the things come out.

It’s like a Pandora’s box. And unless you really address it and address it, you know, calling somebody, call for help, call a friend. Everybody knows somebody who knows somebody who has a life coach or a therapist and somebody can help.

Calling Child Protective Services doesn’t mean that a child is going to be necessarily taken away. It’s an opportunity to protect a child if it really needs to be done. So if someone has questions about this, and I suspect lots of people do, how can they be in touch with you to get more information on what to do? They can reach us out directly at 619-574-8000.

Or they can reach us online at www.primusfamilylaw.com. There’s a live chat person who can help you reach us. There’s an online form. And when you call in the office, they will put you on my calendar for a free 30 minute telephone or zoom consultation.

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And this is emergent. This is something that becomes very, very timely. So I advise people, don’t wait.

If you have a question, contact Bonnie at those at the number and at the website and do the best you can to help yourself and your children. Bonnie, see you next time. Thank you for another wonderful Family Law Matters.

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Have a great day, Michael.