Hi, everyone. Welcome to another Family Law Matters. I’m Dr. Michael Mantell, always privileged to be joining Bonnie Rabinovitch-Mantel, who is the owner and managing partner of the Primus Family Law Group, a family-oriented firm where experience meets results.

Hi, Bonnie. Hi, Michael. How are you doing today in San Diego? Doing beautifully.

How could we not be doing beautifully? We’re so blessed and we are so grateful. So that’s all good. Bonnie, when it comes to family law, divorce cases and so forth, I think many people, maybe even most, I don’t know the data, but my guess is most people think of going to court and fighting and getting that bill way up and arguing and dragging it out.

But there’s another alternative that Primus Family Law Group specializes in as well, and that’s called mediation. Mediation is a much healthier, more respectful, civil, yet still strong way to resolve issues. Tell us about mediation and some practical thoughts about how Primus Family Law Group helps people who are interested in going down this path.

No, Michael, that mediation is my passion because I’ve been doing this for 25 years and I’m a really good litigator, but I also see what I call the trauma drama that it causes the parties involved in these cases and especially the impact it has on their children. Now, people think, well, we don’t have everything agreed so we can’t do mediation. Well, if you had everything agreed, you wouldn’t need me.

My goal is to help people get through the divorce quicker and actually far less expensively. Why? Because my office will do all the required documentation for both sides because we don’t represent either party, so it’s neutral. And what we do is once that’s done, we sit down and we say, okay, here’s what you have.

Let’s take a big picture approach. This is important to one person. This is important to another person.

How can we make that work? And we try very hard to get people to take a forest for the trees approach. Remember, if you have children, people say it’s until 18, but let’s be real. There’s weddings, there’s grandchildren, there’s events for the rest of your life that you’re going to have to see this other person.

You might as well be able to coexist. You don’t have to like each other. You don’t have to respect each other, but you have to coexist.

And if you can do that, we can certainly get you through mediation, and it’ll be much less expensive and far more relieving. And the ability to move on is going to be far easier. And I think people sometimes think, well, if I mediate, I’m not going to get as much out of it.

What do you think about that? No, my job is to tell you what the law provides, support, division of property. My way is to tell both people what the law will provide. Now, if you as adults want to do something different, then you can do that as long as it’s appropriate.

And I don’t have a problem with that, you’re adults. But you know, Michael, you know that I’m often appointed by the court to do this work for parties who can’t resolve their case, to avoid them having to go to a trial that costs sometimes $10,000 to $15,000 a day to do. What? Seriously, look at that.

If people start mediating, and it starts to fall apart, because you’re not on any side, you’re on the side of truth, resolution, and getting it done. So if people feel that, I want more of this or that, and you do your very best that you know how to do based on decades of experience, they can always still go to court, right? Yes, they can. I would no longer represent either side because I’ve been neutral.

But sometimes you can resolve 90% of it, and you really need a judge to tell you what to do for the 10%. Great, you can do that. But the 90% that resolved or the 80% or whatever you’re able to resolve is one more issue off that table.

Yeah. And that is one less issue to argue about. And in terms of emotional well-being and emotional health, well, boy, does that help, as you used the word before, relieve.

So this is great. If people have questions about mediation, how can they be in touch with you? Well, they can reach me directly at 619-574-8000. And you will be put on my calendar for a free 30-minute phone or Zoom at your preference consultation.

You can also reach us online at www.PrimusFamilyLaw.com. There is a live chat operator who can get you through to us and a form you can fill out that will get you through to us so we can put you on a calendar for that Zoom or phone consultation.