(0:00 – 0:36)
If they actually have an agreement or court orders that say you cannot move without a written agreement of the other parent or a court order and they say, well, I don’t care, I’m going, call an attorney. We’re running in on an ex parte basis and we’re explaining to the court, hello, there’s been no agreement. And very likely that person’s not going anywhere or the child is not going anywhere.

The person can go. They’re an adult. They have every constitutional right to go wherever they want, but the child is not going on those bases.

(0:36 – 2:17)
I can see when it happens when they don’t have court orders and somebody, you know, just gets up and says, I’ve got to go. You know, California is very expensive and we all understand that. And it may not be for malicious reasons.

It may be because, hey, I’ve gotten a job in X, Y, and Z, and I’m able to stay with my parents or friends. There may be valid reasons, but that poses problems to the parent left behind and to the child who is bonded to that parent. So usually the parent who’s going to be left behind has to get and hustle to court to get some emergency stay orders so that the other parent has to at least show the court that it’s in the best interest to allow the child to move with them.

Now, you use the term child a number of times. Well, define that term child up to what age? Well, a child is a minor up until 18 years of age. But as we all know, if a child is a teenager, you know, high school, 16, 17, right up until 18, it’s very hard to get a child to do what you want them to do, especially, you know, if they’re bigger than you.

I mean, my kid throws me around at will. So, but the statute in California does provide that a 14 year old has the right to be heard. So that child, if they’re good students, if they’re head on their shoulders, you know, not, you know, well, because one parent’s going to buy me more things, if they really have valid reasons for wanting to stay or wanting to go, they can be heard by the judge.

(2:17 – 3:02)
Bonnie, what happens in a case where the one parent has already picked up and moved, taken the kids, moved to a different county in California, or a different state or whatever it might be? Now, what happens? You said that if it happens beforehand, the judge is going to say, uh-uh, you’re not going, but this person’s already left. Well, if they left and you already have orders, if like they left in the middle of the night, I mean, you know, the other parent didn’t know what was going on. And they have orders that preclude this, that have that language you can’t leave without 45, sometimes 60 days notice, written notice and their agreement.

(3:02 – 4:56)
If you don’t have written agreement and you haven’t gone through the court process, essentially you’re absconding with your child. I mean, and if the parent has not given permission, they have the right to go in ex parte and get their orders that allow them to bring their child back. Their child.

And how does that happen? I mean, what happens? You have to execute it. Is that what you’re saying? Well, then you go to a sheriff. Yeah.

Yeah. That’s what I’m asking. You have to get the sheriff in that other county to execute with you.

And I would say you’re planning on a trip because wherever they are, they need to go into the care of the other parents. So, you know, we go through law enforcement and we get the sheriffs on the way along, along the way on board. And so when you get to your final destination, there’s the orders that show that you have the rightful custody of your children and you go get them.

I’m shaking my head because I’m thinking about the impact on children. A sheriff comes to mom’s home or dad’s home, whoever has the kids and says, I have an order that you have to go with the other parent. And the kid looks at the parent and says, but mommy, but daddy or whatever.

And this is something that’s burned into the memory of pointing to the heart of those children forever. Right. And some, unfortunately, depending on the state, it’s not always that easy to enforce if the children are older, not 14, but old enough to say, hey, wait a minute, you know, I’m okay here.

And then it becomes that battle of now one other, you know, it becomes it’s gamesmanship, which is just. It’s, it’s really very true. It’s sad and unfortunate because that parent then says, see, your mom or your dad are trying to take you away and you’re happy here.

(4:56 – 6:22)
Why is he or she. You know, Michael, thankfully those extremes are what we call our high conflict cases and they are not the norm. I know we do a lot of our discussions talking about those, you know, more dramatic experiences, but thankfully there are a lot of parents that really do put their children first and understand the process and don’t, you know, use their children as pawns.

And while they don’t agree with the other parent and there is conflict, it is not in the same way as these kinds of extremes. So for anybody listening out there, that’s not all we deal with. We deal with parents who may not get along.

We deal with parents who, you know, do the, he said, she said, but it doesn’t rise to that level. And when it comes down to it, they’re able to at least say, okay, for the kid’s sake, let’s figure out something better. If people want more information about that, and you mentioned that you talk to people who deal with these difficulties, how do people get in touch with you for a consultation? Well, you can reach us at 619-574-8000, or you can reach us online at primusfamilylaw.com. Terrific.

I hope people will follow up and take the opportunity to chat with you about this or any other matter that regards family law. Thanks so much, Bonnie. Have a great week.

Enjoy the holiday season and we’ll talk to you soon. Thank you, Michael. You too as well.