(0:00 – 0:18)
Hi everyone, I’m Dr. Michael Mantell with another edition of Family Law Matters with Bonnie Rabinovitch Mantel, founder and managing partner of the Primus Family Law Group. Hi Bonnie. Hi Michael, how are you doing today? Terrific, very well, thank you.

(0:19 – 0:54)
Bonnie, I know that Primus Family Law Group, your team of various esteemed and honored attorneys and paralegals and so forth, have a unique depth of resource in dealing with marital dissolution and post-marital matters. Now, an issue that pops up oftentimes is couples who divorce, but want to use the term nest. They’re not actually leaving the home.

(0:54 – 1:31)
They’re staying in the home for one reason or another. You have experience with this. I’m interested in what are the benefits and the disadvantages of doing something like that? Well, Michael, you know, a lot of people ask, if I leave the house, am I giving up my rights to the house? Well, no, you are not giving up your rights to the house, but it’s also sometimes a matter of money in the sense that, you know, you’re both living on one set of income jointly, and all of a sudden now you’re no longer together, and you have to go out and get another place to live.

(1:31 – 1:56)
That, you know, double the house with one set of income isn’t always feasible. So people try to figure out if they can stay together in separate rooms, separate floors, however that works. The one caution I have is if you guys can’t get along, be reminded that you don’t want to bring in a restraining order situation that ramps up the case.

(1:56 – 2:21)
That’s, you know, on the legal side, you don’t want situations where somebody’s going to call the police and now you’ve got a restraining order, even if it’s temporary. And you also don’t want necessarily the bellyache for your kids if you’ve got kids, because that is also a, can be a cost of the tension. Maybe you don’t fight and that’s great, but there’s still going to be tension.

(2:21 – 2:33)
So you got to consider that. If you guys can work beyond it, then you, you know, that’s amazing and great. Yeah, you’ve just taken a great step to moving forward for everybody’s sake.

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So is finance a particularly drive, particular driving force for couples who want to nest after divorce? Yes, it’s, it can be. That is one of the driving factors. The other driving factor is that they both don’t want to lose their access to the children.

(2:56 – 3:21)
Sometimes if one person has to leave the home and move into a one bedroom apartment, it’s, you know, you’re not going to have the same availability for your kids who need their own space. So a lot of people do it for both of those reasons. Now, couples that I’ve worked with who are doing this process nesting have a great deal to, to deal with, to discuss and to agree upon.

(3:21 – 4:06)
So the question that sometimes is asked is guys, if you can get along and you can make these agreements and you’re going out with this one, you’re going out with this one and everyone’s okay with everything, why the divorce? How do you answer that question? Well, just because you can be civil and thank God, some of them, you know, we can be civil. It doesn’t mean you’re meant to live together and continue on. So if you are able to do it that way and nest and be amicable and get along and think of your children first, you’re actually ripe for mediation because you can both sit down with one attorney that you jointly pay that’s neutral, that just helps you reach agreements.

(4:06 – 4:19)
You’re already doing that. So, you know, like I said, it puts people on a better path. And I think the point you’re making is divorce doesn’t mean you don’t get along.

(4:20 – 4:48)
Correct. Divorce does not mean that. So if people have questions about nesting and about how do you get a hold of you to discuss mediation and to solve these issues in a civil way, how do they get in touch with you? You can reach us at 619-574-8000 or reach us directly on our website at www.PrimusFamilyLaw.com. Terrific.

(4:49 – 4:56)
Bonnie, always very informative. And thank you very much for another terrific edition of Family Law Matters. See you next time.

(4:57 – 4:58)
Bye, Michael.