(0:00 – 0:34)
So, today I get to turn the tables. For once, I’m Bonnie Rabinovitch-Mantel, owner of Primus Family Law Group, but I’m here to welcome our wonderful guest, Dr. Michael Mantell, no relation, who is one of the foremost psychologists in the United States, now retired, and doing what he does best, helping people every day. Welcome, Michael.

(0:34 – 0:55)
Bonnie, thank you very much. Yes, I’m no longer practicing as a psychologist, and I enjoy doing what I do best, which is, of course, continuing to help people. And I think that our relationship, which has gone on for many, many years, brings us together because we both like to help people.

(0:55 – 1:44)
And in the arena of a highly contested divorce, family breakup, people need help, I think, more than probably many other times in life. So, Michael, what would be some healthy tips that you could give those adults going through the throes of a breakup, a divorce, so they can get through it with a little bit less trauma drama? Well, there’s something that an old professor of mine, back at the University of Pennsylvania, many, many, many years ago, actually many more than just many, many, many years ago, his name is, excuse me, Martin Seligman. And he has an acronym that he calls PERMA, P-E-R-M-A.

(1:44 – 1:59)
And I’ll explain that in a moment for you. When you bring the tools that PERMA teaches, it helps us get through any adversity in life. I tell myself every day, Michael, you’re not special.

(2:00 – 2:13)
You’re not exempt from any misfortune, accept it. That’s important. Whatever the adversity is, there is the real adversity, and then there’s the way you think about it.

(2:13 – 2:39)
The way we think about the adversity, the divorce, the child custody, the contentiousness, the way we think about that makes it far, far more worse, and sometimes more difficult than we can actually handle. PERMA stands for positive emotions. What can you do to create positive emotions? Well, you can think well, and that’s number one.

(2:40 – 2:59)
The link is what you think. Number two, engage. Be engaged with other people, healthy people, no matter who that is, even if it’s your attorney at Primus Family Law, where you can just sit and chat for a bit, but be engaged in other kinds of relationships.

(3:01 – 3:24)
R stands for relationships. How can you begin to have renewed, refreshed relationships? M stands for meaning in your life. What kind of meaning can you bring? How do you see this opportunity that divorce brings to you? And A stands for achievements, especially if it’s a child.

(3:25 – 3:42)
A child also needs to have positive thinking, needs to be engaged with other kids, needs healthier relationships, needs to find meaning in his or her life. And A, achievements, means let’s focus on school. Let’s focus on what we can do well in life.

(3:42 – 4:10)
Those are some tips that I’d suggest people carry through a divorce. There are many, many, many, but those are the ones that I think have been tried and tested and just give people the fuel they need to positively move through, grow through, not just go through their divorce. Well, you know what, Michael? As always, you say that I’ve got a clear vision for what I do.

(4:10 – 4:32)
So do you. And that just helps people who are listening take down a couple of notes that they can move forward with. Now that you life coach and you help people on that basis, how can somebody reach you? Because as an attorney in family law, it’s our ethical duty to offer and to refer and to make sure people’s mental health is considered.

(4:32 – 5:08)
So how can somebody reach you for those benefits? Well, people can write to me at my email address, which is drmantell, D-R, no period, D-R-M-A-N-T-E-L-L at me, M-E.com. D-R-M-A-N-T-E-L-L at me.com. Or they can call my cell phone, 619-743-2555. As always, it’s a pleasure. And thank you for always supporting us at Primus.

(5:08 – 5:11)
Have a great day. Thank you, Bonnie. You too.