FLM 141 – Mediation

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Hello, everyone. I’m Dr. Michael Mantell with Bonnie Rabinovitch-Mantel, owner and managing partner of the Primus Family Law Group with another Family Law Matters. Hi, Bonnie.

(0:12 – 0:50)
Hi, Michael. How are you doing today? I’m doing well. Thank you very much for asking, always.

Bonnie, one of the topics that I thought we could cover today for a bit is the issue of mediation. When people are seeking closure, not revenge, they want to find the least expensive way, the least anxiety-provoking way, they don’t want to disturb themselves, they want to end their marriage and they can find agreement, they turn to you for mediation. Talk a little bit about what mediation is and perhaps some of the trends that we see in this.

(0:50 – 4:34)
You know, mediation to me is truly the way that people need to be more, need to be getting divorced more. If you have children, you don’t have children, you have property, you have things. It is so much healthier to go through mediation than each person gets an attorney and we’re going to go, you know, toe-to-toe.

Take some basic facts, Michael. When you’re married, you have usually one pot of money. That doesn’t change when you’re getting divorced, but now everything you’re doing is doubled.

If you’re not able to live together, right, you’ve got somebody in a rental, somebody in the home, but you’ve doubled now your expenses. Now everybody gets an attorney, we’ve doubled our expenses. Mediation, if you got, if all of you out there can focus on the forest for the trees, I know you’ve heard me say that before, but you can truly get through this process, which is, can be very difficult, but you can get through it in a much healthier way.

That doesn’t mean, and Michael knows, it doesn’t mean that you come to the table with everything answered. Half the time people come they don’t even know the questions to ask. So that’s okay.

You don’t have to have it all out. You don’t have to have the child sharing arrangement all decided. You don’t have to have all the money worked out.

All you have to be willing to do is work together with your mediator and be transparent with your stuff, be it your financial stuff, your liabilities, or the stuff that you feel about your children. If you’re transparent and everybody understands the page that everybody’s on, if you have a good mediator, my job is to craft creative solutions that work for all or as many of both of your issues as possible. So transparency is huge.

And at least in my practice, Michael, I find that I can help get people through this process quicker, less expensive, and rarely do they need all sorts of modifications and machinations because we’re trying to think of as many things to keep you out of litigation today and for the foreseeable future. You once said that divorce is the end of a marriage. It’s not the end of the client’s world.

And you bring that with you in mediation. You also bring it with litigation, but particularly with mediation. And it becomes a process where people don’t have to disturb themselves emotionally with anxiety and despair and upset.

It can be a much smoother situation, a much smoother journey. And so if people have questions about mediation and they want to tap your brain and learn more about how you do this and how it can be right for them, how can they be in touch with you? They can reach out directly at 619-574-8000. And you will be put on my calendar for a free 30 minute phone consultation.

And I offer each spouse in mediation, a free 30 minute phone consultation. Each of you need to feel comfortable with your mediator and you should have the right to ask your questions separately. So I offer that.

And if you want to reach out online, you can reach us at www.primusfamilylaw.com.