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Welcome to Family Law Matters. I’m Dr. Michael Mantell, always privileged to be joining Bonnie Rabinovitch Mantel, who is the owner and managing partner of the Primus Family Law Group right here in San Diego. Hi, Bonnie.

Hi, Michael. How are you doing today? I’m doing great. Good to see you, Bonnie.

And today’s topic is one that has interested many people. And again, I invite people, if you have a topic that you’d like Bonnie to cover here on Family Law Matters, be in touch. And we will definitely pick up on this.

Bonnie, tell us about today’s topic. Well, Michael, you know what? People come to us and every day there’s something a little bit new. And over the last few years, you know, you get people who may be step parents, you get parties who may have taken in a child because mom and dad may have had a drug issue or couldn’t, you know, take care of the child.

That could be a sister, so an aunt. You get people who assume the role of a parent. And then they wonder, can I get legal rights to that child, like custodial rights, time-sharing rights? You can imagine, Michael, that if you have a child in your custody that you have no rights for and that child needs emergency care, what do you do? So let’s talk about this.

I mean, non-biologic parental folks have sometimes very important and impactful roles to play in a child’s life. So let’s talk about that. Expand on this topic for us.

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Well, Michael, you know, a few years ago, it came to light that a child may not necessarily just have two parents. There is maybe a third person, a grandparent, an aunt, a child that’s born during a marriage that isn’t from that marriage. Let’s say, you know, mom had an affair and therefore the child is biologically related to mom and another person.

But her husband has been raising this child for years as his own. He’s not a biological parent. And what rights does he have? So a few years ago, the law changed.

There is now something called a presumed parent, where you can see custodial rights, time-sharing rights, which also come with obligations like child support for a child that is not biologically yours. If you can show the court that it is in the best interest of the child for you to continue in that role. What impact does this have on the child? When does the child need to know about this? Well, that may be a parental decision.

Nobody in the court is going to say, tell a five-year-old what’s going on. But parents of this five-year-old and perhaps that presumed other person, they may have to go to court and sort it out. It doesn’t mean that it should come home to the child.

In fact, most court orders in what I do specifically say, don’t discuss this with your children. We don’t discuss adult issues with our children routinely. Routinely.

This is one of those topics that we don’t discuss. And then as parents, you get to decide when it’s appropriate to explain or not explain everybody’s position in the family. I suspect at some point, the child does recognize that grandma really took care of me or had such an impact on my life.

She was like a second mother sort of kind of thing. I suspect that comes up as well. That does come up and that can be a factor, especially if one of the actual parents is not in the child’s picture per se.

But it also comes up, Michael, when you have, like I say, mom and another person and then her husband. And so a child may end up having two dads or two dads and a mom. It can get interesting, but the law tries to protect that child from the relationships and for the relationships that are in its best interest.

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Very quickly, where are the friction points in this? Where does this become a hot spot that you have to go back to court and they need the services of primers family law? Well, it could be a situation where, again, somebody has an affair and that other person is actually, you know, biologically related to the child. And when the people in the relationship don’t want to share with a third person, the grandparent wants custodial rights and the parents don’t want that to happen. There are ways where people don’t get along, don’t agree as to what is in the child’s best interest, that they end up back in court and needing somebody to stand up for their rights.

And if people have questions about this, this is a complicated topic. This is not a simple black and white kind of an issue. People have questions about this, the nuances of this.

How can they be in touch with you at Primus Family Law? Well, they can reach me or any one of our certified family law specialists at 619-574-8000. Or you can reach us online at www.PrimusFamilyLaw.com. We have a form you can fill out or a live chat agent.