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Hi everyone, I’m Dr. Michael Mantell with another Family Law Matters, joining Bonnie Rabinovitch Mantel, who is the owner and managing partner of the Primus Family Law Group, based right here in San Diego. Hi Bonnie. Hi Michael, how are you? I’m good, we’re in San Diego, doesn’t get much better than this.

Now before we start, wait a minute, we do this every quarter or so, we have to do this because, you know, people get us confused. So all of you out there, Michael Mantel, if you can see his name, it’s spelt with two L’s. My name is spelt with one L, we are not related, we are the best of friends, we are not related, he’s not my husband, he’s not my brother, he’s not my uncle, he’s not anybody older than that either.

I was going to say grandfather, I was going to go. We’re just very good friends and we help and support each other and want to help and support you. Bonnie, in terms of helping and supporting each other, we have an interesting topic today and the topic is to clarify what mediation really means.

Lots of people have all kinds of misconceptions, so I’m going to put you on the spot. Give us the top three myths or misconceptions that people bring to you at Primus Family Law about mediation. I would say one of the one of the things I love hearing from people is they believe that they can only come to mediation if they have all their issues settled.

And I chuckle a little bit because then I say, why do you need me? Right? Obviously, if you all have most of your issues settled, and I always say that because there are issues you’re not thinking of because you don’t do this for a living. But if you have most of your issues settled, that’s great. It just makes it that much less expensive for y’all.

That’s all great. That just makes me a glorified secretary to make sure all the forms and final agreement and it’s done the legal way and we cover all the bases and we make sure everything’s done. That’s awesome.

Now, reality is, it usually means that one person thinks you’ve got everything agreed and the other person’s just nodding, which is not the same thing as an agreement, Michael. So once you get into it, you realize there may be certain things you don’t fully agree on. You’re in the ballpark, but you’re not fully agreed upon.

That is my specialty. I take a broad approach. I take a big picture, move the needle.

How can we get everybody to compromise and understand that they’re doing this and it makes sense. That’s what I do. The other myth is that they can force the other party into mediation, meaning I want an agreement.

So he or she has to agree as well. That’s never going to work, folks. You both have to meet your mediator, hire your mediator together, meaning you both have had a consult.

You both realize this is a person who’s on nobody’s side and on everybody’s side all at the same time. And then the third major myth is that if the mediator speaks with one person first, the mediator has picked a side. That doesn’t happen at Primus.

I’m telling you all out there, I’ve got no skin in the game. In mediation, it will be less expensive. The myth out there that somehow, some way, it’s going to cost about the same as litigation.

I’m going to say this over and over. It does not because one office is doing the forms for both sides, all the required documentation. So once we’re able to get all the information from both sides, it’s easier for us to do it for both parties.

It’s easier for us to get you all done quicker and less expensive than if you’re arguing over things. Fabulous. Bonnie, you present material so clearly.

If people have more questions about mediation, this has become a very, very important topic. How can they reach you and get some more myth-busting insights into mediation? Well, Michael, they can reach me directly at 619-574-8000 and you will be put on mine or one of my colleagues who are all certified family law specialists, our calendar for a Zoom or telephone 30-minute consultation, or you can reach us online at www.primusfamilylaw.com. There’s a form to fill out. There’s a live chat agent.

We just want to help you.