0:00 – 0:27)
Hi everyone, I’m Dr. Michael Mantell joining Bonnie Rabinovitch-Mantel, who is the owner and managing partner of the Primus Family Law Group here in San Diego. Hi, Bonnie. Hi, Michael.

Happy New Year. I hope the start of the new year brings good things for you this year. And as always, Michael, we need to once again start our year and explain to everybody.

(0:28 – 5:39)
Michael and I are not related. His last name is spelt with two L’s. My last name is spelt with one.

And I promise you, we just found each other by luck, by the grace of God. But we are not related. We are just very good friends and professional colleagues.

Absolutely. We’ve been working together for a long time. So and I understand we’re coming upon, did I read this correctly? Our 200th edition of Primus Family Law Matters.

Is that true? Yes, this is Family Law Matters. We’re on our 200th episode of trying to help people in little bits get through the process of our family law legal system. Well, let’s talk about that.

So the year is unfolding. We’re going through January soon. It will be February.

And I know that many people thought somehow the Christmas tree, the Hanukkah menorah, the great food, the friends, the family would somehow put a nice covering over the fact that we know the marriage is not working. We’ve tried therapy, we’ve tried counseling, we’ve done everything. And we thought the holiday somehow would get us through this and everything would be great.

But we come away with all that stuff saying, it’s not working. I don’t want to start the new year with a divorce. But you have some thoughts about this.

Tell us about that. I do, Michael. You know, I’m in family law.

And you’re in the business of helping people and life coaching people. And we see this from both ends. I understand that you don’t want to start the year with a divorce.

But on the other hand, do you want to start the year miserable? And miserable doesn’t just mean, you know, I can’t get out of bed. It means that you’re settling, you’re giving up on yourself, you’re and what you’re showing your children, you have a right to be happy, you have a right to be more than content. And so if your relationship is no longer working, and your children are seeing that, that’s something to consider as well.

Now, obviously, Michael, I’m not here to say, please, everybody get divorced, right? I would rather they stay together. And I would find another line of work, I’d be very happy to do that. But we also realize that there are a lot of people who are suffering out there.

And if you really cannot go to somebody like Michael to help you fix whatever needs to be fixed to make your marriage work, then you really need to take that step and say, I need to do what’s good for me, and our children, and even the other side. You know, that is, even though it’s the breaking up of relationship, it is like, Michael, you’ve said over and over again, it’s a beginning, a new beginning, a new year, right? Right. So I have a follow up question, if I can.

So people who say, you know, I don’t want to start the new year off with divorce and anger and all that stuff. Coming away from the holidays, hoping it would work, it didn’t. But how long of a process is it to be expected that this divorce is going to take? If I file in February, what’s the, how does it unfold? Well, there are things that you have to do, there are certain procedural requirements.

So if you were to file in February, and let’s say you and your spouse are on top of everything, and you have all the documentation you need to show what you need to show, and it doesn’t take too long to get to an agreement on how to share your children or divide your stuff, then the whole process could take six months. It does usually take a little longer, because not everybody has all the stuff ready. And not everybody can always agree on how to share your children or divide your stuff.

But our job is to keep you on task so that it doesn’t become the be all and end all of your life. We’re here to do this so that you can go on and do your jobs and be parents and live your lives while we’re taking care of the stuff. So the idea being that with a mindset of I don’t want to start the year with a divorce, let’s face it, you’re starting the year with difficulty.

And if you use the term misery, and it’s going to take six months to a year to get through this. So if people have questions, and they want to learn more about this, how can they be in touch with you? You can always reach us directly at 619-574-8000 or online at www.PrimusFamilyLaw.com. And you will get onto our calendar for a free 30 minute Zoom or phone consultation so we can figure out what you need and how we can help you.