Hi, everyone. I’m Dr. Michael Mantell. Welcome to another Family Law Matters.

I’m privileged, of course, to be joining Bonnie Rabinovitch-Mantel, who is the owner and managing partner of the Primus Family Law Group, a family-oriented firm where experience meets results. Hi, Bonnie. Hi, Michael.

How are you doing today? Doing wonderful, doing wonderful. Hope you are as well. Beautiful weather this week.

Oh, boy. We really are blessed with magnificent weather, and it’s going to continue to be that way going forward. So, Bonnie, we have two questions which really are braided together that I think would be valuable for us to answer because if they come from someone, that means that others have it as well.

The first question is, can you oppose divorce? And the second question is, what’s the difference between fault and no fault divorce? And so, I know we can sort of joke around, can you oppose divorce? Of course, you can. But I think this is a serious question. It is a serious question.

I mean, unlike TV where somebody presents you with documents to sign that you’re getting divorced, you don’t get to oppose it. So, even though it took two of you to get married, you only need one person to get divorced. And so, if you don’t participate in your divorce, then the other person gets to proceed by what is called a default divorce where they end up getting whatever they’ve asked for because they’re the only one participating in the divorce.

And as long as what they’re asking for is not more than what they would get by law, your opposition actually ends up meaning, you know, nothing. Now, that’s why we say if you want to participate and get your fair share and make sure you get your fair share, you got to file your own response and participate in the divorce. And what about this fault, no fault issue? So, fault, there are states that are fault-based, which means that you can carve up the community estate or get more support because the other party has cheated on you, relapsed into some drug habit, things like that, that but for the intervening event, you wouldn’t be getting divorced.

And so, there are states that allow that. We are California, which does not allow that because, you know, whether or not somebody has a drug addiction, that’s a disease. If somebody’s cheating on you, that shouldn’t unfortunately give you more rights to things.

So, we’re in no-fault state. So, you have no choice but to pretty much check the box, you know, we don’t get along anymore. And that’s the only reason you need to get divorced.

I mean, literally, what does it actually say? Literally says, irremedial breakdown in the marriage. You know, you see in the famous, the celebrity divorces, well, they’re getting divorced based on irremediable breakdown in the marriage. There are three bases you can check the marriage.

It’s void because you were already married. Oh my God, I’m polygamous. Or, you know, if there was fraud, you know, he or she told me they could have children only to find out they can’t.

And there’s irremediable breakdown. There’s no fault in ours. So, that’s what most people check.

99% of the people are checking that box. So, if he or she says, I don’t want a divorce, it doesn’t matter. It doesn’t matter.

It’s going to happen around you. Right. And so, the best advice you have for someone like that then is what? Reach out to an attorney and make sure that you are either negotiating an agreement so that you’re part of the process or you file your own proceeding, like your own motions and things that you need to do to protect yourself in this matter.

And I would add, if you really are unwilling to accept the fact that you don’t have a say, if he wants a divorce or she wants a divorce and you’re saying, you know, you don’t have control over that and you’re making yourself really upset, it’s time to get some help up here as well. Absolutely. That is something that any good attorney, part of our ethics is to say, hey, look, this is the death of a relationship, you and your children and, you know, it’s okay to need a little bit of therapy.

This is not something people do and we counsel that a lot, at least we do. If people want to get in touch with you for more information about opposing a divorce or false or no false divorce, how can they be in touch? Well, they can reach us directly at 619-574-8000 or you can reach us online at www.PrimusFamilyLaw.com. There’s even a live chat agent that’ll get you right through to us so you can get on our calendar for a free 30-minute Zoom or telephone, whichever you prefer, consultation.