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Hi everyone, I’m Dr. Michael Mantell joining Bonnie Rabinovitch-Mantel, who is the owner and managing partner of the very esteemed Primus Family Law Group right here in San Diego. Hi, Bonnie. Hi, Michael.
How are you doing today? Doing well, thank you very much for asking. Bonnie, today I want to talk about mediation. Obviously, it’s less stressful.
Obviously, it’s less costly, but how does it differ otherwise from going to court? You have all the control in mediation. You get to make all your decisions about, I know this is strange, your life and your children and your stuff. Whereas when you go to court, you let a judge who doesn’t know you, doesn’t know your financial circumstances really other than the papers that are filed, doesn’t know your children, never meets your children, so only gets the best interests of the children from, guess what, the papers filed, and then makes a decision based on that.
And you will hear good judges tell people, try to work this out on your own. You don’t want me doing it for you. You don’t want me because I am constrained by the law.
You aren’t. You can work out whatever you want to do. So, in mediation, a successful mediation is where two parties start out with ideas as to how things are going to go and everybody moves off that needle to a middle ground where everybody’s okay with it, not 100% happy, but can live with it.
That is successful mediation. That’s successful psychology too. It is.
It’s brilliant thinking. So, someone’s getting ready to go to a mediation session. How should they prepare questions or their thoughts before attending a mediation session? I think the questions have to be, well, if you have children, the question should always be about what can we do that’s in the best interest of the children, taking into account whatever concerns or differences there are between the parties.
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Questions around that, around schedules, holidays, are perfectly appropriate. Schedule, a question is also about how do you divide things? Everybody’s online. Everybody’s using Google Chat GPT and becoming their own attorneys, which is exhausting and scary all at the same time because these AI, they’re wrong a lot.
And so, people, your questions could be, you know, the law is that everything is divided equally, but that doesn’t mean everything is divided 50-50. You could get 100 of this and zero of this because it makes sense. You could get 20 of this and 80 of that because it makes sense.
As long as it all works out equitably and it is an equal division, then we’re good. Then we’re always good. It’s about being creative.
At Primus Family Law Group, you have created a culture of collaboration and you bring that into mediation sessions as well. One last question. Are there any questions that people, your clients, should not ask during mediation? I guess the one thing that always sticks to me is when people want to get the other side.
How do I take, how do I not show, how do I hide are all inappropriate for mediation. And even when I do consults, Michael, and people are either, he won’t agree to mediation or she won’t agree to mediate, well, then you can’t mediate. Or how do, I don’t want to tell them all that.
Well, then you can’t mediate. Family Law in California is inherently a transparent process. And even more so in mediation, because you’re coming to the table and like I say, you’re all expected to play nicely in the sandbox.
And you’ve heard me say that. Because that’s what this is. It’s about considering your future.
Like you say, Michael, it’s not the end. It’s another, it’s the end of one chapter. It’s the beginning of the rest of your life.
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Let’s start it with a little bit of good karma. If people want to build on that heartfelt view, how can they be in touch to get some more information and get a free 30-minute consultation with you or your esteemed team of lawyers? Well, they can reach us directly at 619-574-8000. Or you can reach us online at www.PrimusFamilyLaw.com. There’s a live chat agent that will get you directly over.
There is a form to fill out. You will get on my calendar or one of my, as Michael said, one of my amazing attorney’s calendars for a free 30-minute telephone or Zoom consultation to see if mediation is right for you. And if it is, we do it really well.